An Atheist President?

In a similar way to the way cows want to know what other cows are up to, so they can do the same thing, humans are very interested in the opinions of other humans, so they can have the same ones. This interest gave rise in America to the Gallup Organisation; a private group that collects statistical data about what Americans think (on those occasions when they are thinking).

Between the 2nd and 4th of March 2007 the Gallup Organisation asked Americans the following question. The responses are shown below.

Between now and the 2008 political conventions, there will be discussion about the qualifications of presidential candidates -- their education, age, religion, race, and so on. If your party nominated a generally well-qualified person for president who happened to be ..., would you vote for that person?

This data is of particular interest at present because two front running candidates for pre-selection as the presidential candidate for the Democrat party do not fit the standard mould of White Male Protestant, one being black (Barack Obama) and another being a woman (Hillary Rodham Clinton). While these figures, on the face of them, do not appear to reflect too badly in terms of average American prejudice against blacks and women, (93% and 89% respectively would be prepared to vote for a black or a woman), look at the numbers from the reverse:

7% (about 20.8 million) of average Americans would not vote for an otherwise well-qualified candidate from their party, because they are black, and 11% (about 32.7 million) of average Americans would not vote for an otherwise well-qualified candidate from their party because they are a woman.

But that's not the whole story. Down at the bottom of the list are Atheists, with less than half the surveyed Americans being prepared to vote for them. Statistically, Americans are far more likely to vote a Mormon into the White House, than an Atheist. For those who aren't aware of what Mormons believe, you may like to refer to my previous post. This data is spectacularly supported by statistics of the religious affiliation of current U.S. Senators, 5 of whom (Robert Foster Bennett, Mike Crapo, Orrin Hatch, Harry Reid and Gordon H. Smith) are Mormons.

Currently there are no U.S. Senators who site their religious affiliation as: "No Religion/Atheist/Agnostic", yet this category is embodied by 15% of the U.S. population according to the 2001 Census. So it is very fortunate for Mr Obama and Ms Clinton that they believe in God (and that they aren't gay), otherwise they'd have no chance of ever getting elected. Can you imagine? A gay, atheist female president? Or a gay, atheist black president? or even a gay atheist black female president? My God! Give me a President who believes Adam and Eve were Americans any day over that!!!

What Mormons Believe ...

Mormons believe that in 1823 an angel appeared to a teenager named Joseph Smith and told him he had been chosen to translate the book of Mormon which was written on golden plates hidden near where Joseph was then living in Palmyra, New York. These plates were written in a language called "reformed Egyptian". God taught young Joseph how to translate reformed Egyptian and the "Book of Mormon was the result.

Unfortunately, there is no evidence today that these golden plates ever existed because after he was finished with them, Smith returned them to the angel that gave them to him.

The Book of Mormon is the account of people who came from the Middle-East to America between 600 B.C. and 400 A.D. These people were the Jaredites, who were from Babylon, and the Nephites and Lamanites who were Jews from Jerusalem. The Nephites and Lamanites had a war in America in which the Nephites were defeated in 428 A.D. The Lamanites continued and their descendants are the people now known as native Americans. The Book of Mormon is the account of the Nephite leader, Mormon, and is about the culture and civilization of the Nephites, and about how Jesus came to America.

Unfortunately there is no evidence today that anyone ever came to America from the Middle-East between 600 B.C. and 400 A.D. and absolutely no archaeological evidence that these societies ever existed in America, except for the so-called Lamanites, the native Americans.

Mormons believe that Adam (of Adam and Eve fame) once lived in Spring Hill, Davies County, Missouri. They believe that after Jesus was resurrected he visited America, and until the church realised it violated civil law and renounced the practice, they believed in polygamy (Joseph Smith had 27 wives). There are about 13 million Mormons in the world. About 6 million Mormons are American. The Mormons send out missionaries (door-knockers) who convince an extra quarter of a million people to become Mormons every year.

Ironically, most Mormons don't believe in the Tooth Fairy, despite the presence of considerably more evidence to support that particular myth.

National Bullshit Hour

In the tradition of Earth Hour - an initiative of WWF-Australia held on Saturday March 31, during which more than 2 million Sydney residents turned off their electric lights and appliances between 7.30 and 8.30pm to show their support and generate publicity for the cause of saving energy - I propose a National Bullshit Hour be held in every Australian town and city, especially Canberra, at least once a year ... preferably far more frequently. The 10.2% drop in energy use recorded during Earth Hour translated to 24.86 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide that was not deposited into the atmosphere. Just imagine how much bullshit could be avoided if everyone in Australia just stopped talking for one hour.

While there has never been a serious academic study into the amount of bullshit generated by Australians every day, there seems little doubt that it runs into the tens of thousands of kBs' (kilobullshits - see appendix). Of course, as a nation the United States currently generates far more bullshit than any other country, but on a per-capita basis it seems reasonably likely that Australians, particularly politicians, business consultants, talk-back radio hosts and current affairs anchor-people, generate at least as much, if not more Bullshit than Americans.

John Howard has repeatedly defended his government's stance not to ratify the Bullshit Protocol, saying that any forced reduction in bullshit emissions could prove damaging to Australian industry, but he has failed to consider the potentially devastating long term consequences of over-production of bullshit. Although invisible, bullshit remains in the atmosphere for years, eating away at the all-important credibility layer. Considering Australia's already thin and fragile credibility layer, any further depletion of credibility could have dire consequences for the future of our children! But it is not just the responsibility of Government to reduce bullshit emissions, everyone has their part to play, from leaders of commerce and industry, right down to ordinary everyday Australians, we all need to do our bit to limit bullshit and preserve whatever precious little credibility we have left.

The National Bullshit Hour will help raise awareness of the issue of over-production of bullshit, and will result in actual, tangible reductions in bullshit emissions, if only for 1 hour. While this represents only a relatively minor reduction in annual bullshit, it’s a start, and will be especially relevant in the lead-up to this year’s federal election.

Appendix:
Metric measurements of Bullshit

1cBs: 1 centibullshit
100cBs = 1Bs
1000Bs = 1 kBs (kilobullshit)
1000kBs = 1 metric LoS (load of shit)

Drought Solution #1: Attack India !!

Why? Because they've got what we want ... Water. In Brisbane at the moment, the ongoing drought and resultant Level 5 water restrictions mean we can't water our gardens, wash our cars or fill up our swimming pools. We're now restricted to 4 minute showers and being encouraged to install water-saving devices and even rain-water tanks, though how a rainwater tank is supposed to help anyone when it never rains is beyond me. Any civilised inhabitant of 21st century Earth will agree this situation is completely unacceptable. Clearly something needs to be done, but our elected decision-makers are wasting time, Dilly Dallying about, arguing the relative economics of recycling sewerage, diverting reservoirs and desalinating sea water, when the real answer to the problem is staring us all in the face. WAR !!

One of the great attributes of the Human species is its ability to accumulate wisdom by learning from the past, and if there's one lesson the past has taught us it is surely that when we want something we should make war on our neighbors and simply take it from them. In recent times America has reminded us of the wisdom of this strategy by declaring war on Iraq because they wanted more oil, but this war was only the most recent in a proud tradition of wars waged on countries that have stuff we want. In the past, the stuff people wanted was often land. Land is good because the more you own, the more socially adequate you feel. So if, for whatever reason, you feel inadequate (eg; small penis, no friends, stupid) you can accumulate land and feel really tough, especially if you accumulated it by killing other humans.

In the 21st century, water has become an important and valuable resource. My local petrol station charges me about $1.25 for a litre of petrol, but a litre bottle of drinking water costs nearly twice as much. We in Australia need water. India has lots of water. Cherrapunji in India holds the world record for the highest rainfall ever recorded with 26,461mm in 1 year. Measured in another way, Mt Waialeale in Hawaii has the highest average annual rainfall with 11,680mm, but we can't attack America because they're much tougher than us. We'd end up with egg on our face. This is another lesson history has taught us; make sure, before you attack another country, that you can actually win, otherwise you will end up with egg on your face, and we Australians can't afford to get egg on our face because we don't have any water to wash it off.